Why?
May was my worst month during "chemo year." Everything
was bursting with new life, yet I felt so "dead" with a body
full of toxins. My doctor said I had reached "saturation point!"
These are the thoughts I scribbled down one sunny day in May:
Too many weeks now I've been housebound (again!) I watch my
hubby go through his days, full of energy, never tiring
while I struggle from bed to sofa, to lounge and back to bed again.
We like a reasonable world - we like to be presented with reasons
why events occur as they do. And I ask "Why? Why is it dark here?
Why is one ill and the next person as healthy as a horse?
Why can one eat junk food, smoke, drink etc. and live to a
ripe old age while the next person eats well, abstains from
all "vices" and gets ill with cancer?
Of course, diet and life-style aren't everything. Maybe it's in
the genes. Maybe it's in the air. Maybe there is no reason.
Jesus' diciples asked why a certain person was ill. Was it a wrong
lifestyle? Was it his parents? Was it punishment for sin?
Jesus said it was none of the above. The illness was to serve a
higher purpose - God's purpose.
Our tiny minds can't grasp that. God says His ways are higher than
our ways and His thoughs are higher than our thoughts.
Higher - beyond our ability to grasp.
So, if I can't grasp it, that brings me back to surrender.
Surrender this situation to Him. Trust that He is somehow working
it out for His purpose. (Rick Warren taught me,"It's not about me.")
And that reminds me again to change the question. Not to ask "Why?"
But rather, "What will happen if I surrender this matter
entirely into God's hands?" And then watch for blessings!
After all, He assures us that "As high as the heavens are above
the earth, so great is His love for those who fear Him."(Psalm 103:11)
A.F.
NEXT: "Hope"
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