A Toll Road


	    It takes a toll. It doesn’t ask, it just takes. All that is happening to us on account

 	of Joe's stroke (as with my cancer several years ago) is taking its toll. The toll on our

	health is obvious.
 
	    “I’m confused, I can’t think,” laments Joe.

	    “I’m so tired, Lord,” I whisper days on end.



	    It’s taking a toll on our household – who does what, but more so, on our sense of

	security – that comfortable feeling we had when all was in place. We struggle with

	our losses and dread those yet to come. A most distressing price tag is the lack of

	understanding from others.


 
	Some bridges require a toll – a price to pay in order to advance, cross over. 

	A highway may ask the same – only upon payment of a fee may we proceed – travel

	from “here” to “there.” We were in the “here,” at ease, sharing, understanding, secure

	in our loving. Suddenly, without warning, "STOP," a toll gate. An intimidating bridge

	rises, an uncharted road stretches ahead. We can only go forward at a cost; there’s a

	price to pay to advance.



	Where are we going anyway? What lies across this bridge, along this unknown road,

	in this darkened forest?


	Difficulties may diminish us or enhance us; make us bitter or better; we can choose

	to shrivel or to blossom. Willingness to pay the toll means to travel on, move ahead.

	Refusal to pay means to turn back, give up, split up, end up diminished and, ironically,

	pay the higher price. What is the cost to advance? 

	“Grieve your losses; accept the changes.”

	Two short phrases long in tears, struggle and pain.




	Alone, at night, sitting in the car in a darkened parking lot, we tally what’s been lost,

	what changes still need to be made. It helps to stare it boldly in the face. With a tearful

	cry for help, my hand gripped tightly in his, we determine, whatever the cost, we will

	travel on, more forward, advance.


	We pray to finish well.



	The light is rather dim on this toll road. There are sudden twists, unexpected turns,

	puzzling delays, but also, good days, small victories and most of all peace, for only

	in acceptance lies peace.
 
	And we are not alone. The Keeper and Overseer of our souls is with us and He sheds

	light on our path. In that Light we become aware of amazing grace.



			
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